Dear Reality Show Contestants and Producers

If you are a contestant on one of the very few reality shows I watch (American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef), please take a note: If you got cut early or voted off late in a prior season? Don’t. Come. Back. You have had your chance. Please let the next group of talented people have a shot. Sometimes? Life sucks like that. Welcome to sucking it up.

If you are a producer of one of these reality shows… stop letting people re-audition! Stop putting through so many no-talent bags of crap!

Oh, and network execs? Enough. Fucking. Reality. Shows. E. NOUGH. Seriously. I don’t mean networks like TLC – we expect “real” television from channels like that. I mean the pseudo “reality” shows like the somehow-still-going Survivor brand and “contest” shows. Let’s take a look at the choking shit storm of “reality” we can look forward to in coming months:

Worth It:

American Idol
So You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef
Extreme Home Makeover
On The Lot

 Maybes

Miami Ink

So Not Worth It:

8th & Ocean – MTV
Adventures In Hollywood – MTV
Agency, The- VH1
Airline – A&E
Amazing Race – CBS
American Inventor – ABC
America’s Next Top Model – UPN
America’s Got Talent
Apprentice, The – NBC
Armed And Famous – CBS
Bachelor, The – ABC
Beauty and the Geek – WB
Beyond The Bull – TLC
Black. White – FX
The Block – G4
Big Brother – CBS
Breaking Bonaduce – VH1
Cheerleader Nation – Lifetime
Cheyenne – MTV
Criss Angel Mindfreak – A&E
Celebrity Fit Club – VH1
Cowboy U – CMT
Dancing With The Stars – ABC
Dice Undisputed – VH1
Dinner: Impossible – Food Network
Dr90210 – E!
Ego Trip’s White Rapper Show – VH1
Family Jewels – A&E
Fatty Koo- BET
Fast Inc. – MTV
Flavor Of Love – VH1
Gastineau Girls – E!
High Maintenace 90210 – E!
Hells Kitchen – FOX
House of Carters – E!
Hogan Knows Best – VH1
Inked – A&E
I Love New York – VH1
Intervention – A&E
Kathy Griffin My Life On The D-List- Bravo
King Of Cars- A&E
Knievel’s Wild Ride – A&E
Laguna Beach – MTV
Last Comic Standing – NBC
Little People Big World – TLC
Made – MTV
Making The Band – MTV
Maui Fever- MTV
Miami Ink – TLC
Miss Seventeen – MTV
Nanny 911 – Fox
Nashville Star – CMT
No Opportunity Wasted -Discovery
Pimp My Ride – MTV
Pirate Master
Project Jay – Bravo
Power Girls – MTV
Project Greenlight – Bravo
Punk’d – MTV
Pussycat Dolls- CW
Random 1 – A&E
Real Housewives- Bravo
Reality Racing – Spike
Roller Girls – A&E
Real World Road Rules Challenge – MTV
Rock Star: Supernova – CBS
Real World – MTV
Road Rules – MTV
Run’s House – MTV
Shalom In The Home – TLC
Sons of Hollywood – AandE
Springer Hustle, The – VH1
Starting Over
Style Her Famous – Style Network
Super Nanny – ABC
Surreal Life – VH1
Survivor – CBS
Tiara Girls – MTV
The Hills – MTV
Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search – CMT
Wife Swap – ABC
Work Out – Bravo

I’m sure I forgot to list some of these completely forgettable shows. If you must double check my list of wasted boob tube space, you can click here.

Network Executives! Bring back writing! Scripts! Shows with a point! And a cast! Make up of people who ACT from a story and script in scenes, not yahoos we’d like to run over outside of the mall being “put in situations”. I’m begging you…. seriously. Don’t make me grovel.

Now Listening: The Hives

Tags: Reality Television Shows, Reality TV, Survivor, Pirate Master, On The Lot, american Idol

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